La Salonniere

Brenda Ponnay

I’ve been reading Brenda Ponnay’s blog, Secret Agent Josephine, before her daughter Bug was a twinkle in her eye. I adore Brenda. She’s talented, immensely creative, self-deprecating and funny. Her blog is filled with creative inspiration, fun DIY projects for adults and kids, tales of adventure of her life as a single mom and tons of photos of her adorable daughter, Bug. Brenda is a freelance graphic illustrator with a really fun style. I’m so pleased to feature her here to share a glimpse of what inspires the woman who so generously shares her creativity with so many of us online.

1. B, let’s start with your online name—what inspired you to create your spying alter ego, Secret Agent Josephine?

It was a fluke actually. I was just poking around the internet looking for a free online journal program (I didn't even know what blogs were) and I stumbled across Blogspot.  I opened an account and named it the first random thing that popped into my head.  It's loosely based on the movie La Femme Nikita.  At the time I thought my journal would be secret from the world and I'd go by the anonymous name of Secret Agent Josephine.  

2. Your blog is one of my faves because it’s filled with so much fun and delight. Even when you’re documenting a hard or painful experience, you often still manage to find kernels of beauty, creativity and humor. How has living a life grounded in creativity helped you to maintain perspective through big life changes?

I think being creative is the best way to handle obstacles no matter what size they are, whether that's an artistic project or a big life change.  I probably learned how to be creative when I was really young as a way to solve boredom. We didn't have television and my mom wasn't really the type to drive us to the mall or put us in soccer, etc.  If I ever complained of being bored, my mom would tell me to sit on my bed until I thought of something to do. I always thought of something to do.  And I still do. I never sit still long.  I would credit my Dad for my eternal optimism though.  We're just born that way in my family. I may freak out at night and feel overwhelmed with negative thoughts but I usually bounce back every morning with new reserves. It's a blessing really.

3. Your daughter, Bug, is passionate about color. I remember when she went through her green phase; these days it’s pink. How does color affect you? Are there certain colors that you like to have in your home and/or wardrobe? If so, what do you love about them?

I'm not as passionate about color as you might think. I tend to like warm colors and colors that are in the same tonal range.  I hate combining light colors with dark colors or medium colors with light or dark. I'm kind of strange that way. It might be a generational thing. I find my mom loves dark and light together and so does Bug. Just not me.  I do have some basics I love though. Red, of course.  It's just my power color. Not that I think of myself as a power-monger but I find strength and beauty in it. It's happy and warm.  I also love orange and pink but those are just more moderate forms of red in my opinion.  There are certain things I do really like in my home and wardrobe though.  I like neutrals and black and white or navy blue and white stripes.  The neutrals I think are space holders for me. I need space and quiet and peace in between the big pops of color in my life.  Black and white or navy blue and white stripes are just a Paris thing. I'd have a dozen black and white striped shirts if I could!

4.  You’re a graphic illustrator. Was drawing a part of your young life? When did you know you wanted to pursue illustration and design as a career path?

I always drew. My family always tells stories of me turning over my placemat at restaurants and doodling all over them. I've always drawn stories and put together newspapers for my family as long as I can remember. My Grandpa paid for me to have oil painting lessons when I was six from a friend of his who needed some extra money. I learned a lot of basics at a very young age that has really helped me all my life.

I always wanted to be an artist or a book writer when I was young.  But when I got serious about a career, I put art on the back burner. I thought there wasn't any money in art. So I majored in journalism in college because I liked to write (and my grandmother majored in it as well, it seemed like the romantic thing to do at the time). Of course that led to working on school newspapers and magazines and I picked up my computer layout skills there.  Journalism never really worked out for me but graphic design did.  I worked as a graphic designer for years and then in the last seven years or so have wedged my way into the illustration field. It's taken me a long time to take myself serious as an illustrator so maybe that's why I call myself a graphic illustrator. I do a lot of graphic design with illustrations thrown in.

5.  As a single mom who’s a freelancer—and someone who readily admits to keeping odd sleep hours—how do you manage to juggle work, play and down time?

By drinking coffee!  Just kidding. I try to work solidly from 9am to 3pm with a break for lunch with Bug. After 3pm I run errands and do household things. Of course Bug is with me a lot of the time while I'm working so I can't say I'm always working when I'm supposed to be working. I try though. Bug is in preschool two days a week which gives me some good solid work time on Tuesday and Thursdays but the rest of the time she sits next to me at her little desk doing her own "work" or she is off playing in the house or in our great big backyard.  She often will spend time with my Mom who lives next door. They garden together and once a week take a shopping trip and go out to lunch at McDonald's.  I go to bed early (8pm!!) but I often wake up around midnight and do more work.  I usually stay up from midnight to 3 or 4 in the morning and then crash from 4am until 6am.  It's strange but it works for me!  Every Friday we go into Orange County so Bug can visit her Dad. While she's with him I usually meet up with friends. So that's where I fit in my playtime. And of course work for me is playing so I don't think I really have to juggle that hard to fit in playtime.  :)

6. One of the things that makes your blog so fun to read is all of the projects you create to do with your daughter. What have been some of Bug’s recent favorite projects?

She's getting the hang of scissors these days so her favorite thing is probably cutting out hearts. I'm constantly picking up bits of paper all over the place.  Thankfully, she doesn't mind cutting up recycled paper. Otherwise I'd fear for the trees!  She loves all the craft projects I do with her. She loved the noodle monster project we did for Alpha+Mom. In fact I often struggle with her over when we can throw out projects we've made. I think she'd like to keep every craft doodad we ever made forever.  It's sort of a battle between us. I do love the collaborations we do though. She makes me a better artist.

7. You recently relocated to a mobile home in your hometown near your family. It’s been fun to read how you’re redecorating it in your own wonderful style. I know you love a good thrift store as much as I do. Can you share a few of your favorite thrifting tips?  

I'm always looking for anything that remotely reminds me of the 60's or 70's. If it looks like something out of Mad Men or something that my parents might have liked when they were hippies then I'd probably like it.  I also look for old paintings too, real oil paintings (not prints) are the best. I don't like cliché paintings of boats or somebody's high school art project but a portrait from the 60's is like gold.  Pottery is probably next on my list of things to look for. It's like a treasure hunt to find something that might be valuable. If it's stamped with USA or McCoy on the bottom, I seriously consider snagging it but of course I look for form and color first. If something is pretty to me then it really doesn't matter to me if anybody else thinks it's valuable.  I guess I just use my imagination. If I can imagine something looking cool in a magazine spread then it's probably something I'd probably buy. I'm always creating stories and vignettes in my mind about where something might have come from.  Would James Bond use this? Maybe Audrey Hepburn or Amelie!

8. Part of your relocation has been a change of landscape. You previously lived in a beach town; now you’re inland. What do you love about your new locale and how have you incorporated some of your previous beach life into your new setting?

Since I grew up in the desert there has always been a part of me that loves it out here. The big skies, the mountain views, the cactus that perseveres in any kind of weather... It can be desolate but it's also quite pretty. Also, there are things out here that I didn't have at the beach like a big backyard. I love my backyard. I think that really helps me from getting homesick. I can't take long walks on the beach anymore but I can garden and play with my daughter and dog in my very own space.

The second part of your question is hard for me to answer! The town I live in is actually very poor and depressed and it can be a real downer to see so many people who can't catch a break. I think one of the traps I see here that bothers me the most is how easy it is to mindlessly shuffle between the big box stores and fast food chains. That's all there really is out here. People don't have time or money to live well.  We don't have gourmet sandwich shops that offer healthy vegetarian options or boutique clothing stores selling handmade organic items. It's pretty much Wal-Mart and Target.  I think living at the beach sort of made a diva out of me. I want better things. I like to cook home meals that are better for me. I like to exercise and take care of myself.  I'm not saying that all people out here are slobs. That's not true at all. But it is definitely a lot easier to be healthier at the beach where the community is more upwardly mobile and people have more leisure time for these things.  So I guess I can say I've brought my healthy beach habits with me.

9. You’ve had to deal with creative theft online—with others taking your content and publishing it on their own sites. It’s an uncomfortable situation that we often don’t like to discuss, but I suspect it happens more often than we think. How have you addressed it when it’s happened to you? What safeguards do you take to try to block future thefts?

There's not much you can do. Especially when the theft is happening by websites set up in China. I don't have the time or money it takes to hire a lawyer to track them all down.  If I see overly blatant stealing I contact the offender and ask them to take it down or link me. Most do.  Most people don't know better so I try to kindly educate them.  I've watermarked my photographs mostly so I can prove they are mine if one ever gets lifted. It won't stop people of course but it slows them down.  I know there are programs you can set up on your website to stop right clicking but people take screen shots so it's sort of a hopeless battle. I think my best revenge is knowing that I have a thousand more images in my head that I can create on a whim while they will always have to copy me.  

10. I love the idea of creative bartering—helping each other with creative projects by swapping skills. You often write of you and your family members helping each other in this way. If you could put out a wish for creative bartering right now, what would you wish for?

 I love to trade graphics for website coding.  I don't code but I get asked to design websites all the time. So often I'll design a website in Illustrator and then hand it off to a friend who does know how to code.  I'll trade anything though.  Less taxes!

11. What adventures might readers see in the lives of Secret Agent Josephine and Bug in 2011?

I'm dreaming of travel. I'd like to go to a trade show in New York and possibly a road trip to Northern California to visit my family. I don't know if that will happen because funds are tight but I'm dreaming. I'm also thinking of making marmalade and of course lots of crafts. I've got an idea of making my own book light brewing in my head right now. I've never played around with electrical wiring before, that could be a real adventure.  Bug also starts kindergarten this September so I'm sure that will bring a slew of adventures into our lives too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With a nod to Brenda's mom, Susan McConnaughy, in #6, I couldn't end this interview without mentioning her equally creative dad, Tom McConnaughy. Tom the Trucker has been my online pal for years. He's an avid knitter who's been featured in the Wall Street Journal. Tom specializes in slippers. He's making me a pair with black and orange stripes--San Francisco Giants colors--which I plan to wear as good luck charms during baseball season.  ;) You can check out Tom the Trucker's Etsy shop here. "Honk if you knit!"

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

and finally, a word from Bug:

 

All photos copyright Brenda Ponney. Used with permission.

Blog:  Secret Agent Josephine

Portfolio

Flickr:  Secret Agent Josephine

Twitter:  @secretagentjo

Facebook:  Secret Agent Josephine

Patti Digh

When I first discovered Patti Digh’s extraordinary blog, 37 Days, in 2005, I felt like I was home. Who was this extraordinary woman whose every post resonated so loudly with me? Patti is the author of several books, most recently Life Is a Verb, Creative Is a Verb and Four-Word Self-Help: Simple Wisdom for Complex Lives. She is a popular speaker and with her partner, David Robinson, the co-founder of The Circle Project which is transforming K-12 and teacher education and providing telecoaching experiences and retreats for individuals. Patti resides in Asheville, North Carolina with her amazing husband, Mr. Brilliant, and her younger daughter, Tess, a blazing-bright creative being. Her older daughter, Emma, is a student at North Carolina State and totally rocks the sousaphone section of their marching band. Patti is one of the most heart-centered people I know and I’m honored to call her friend.

1. Let me start by asking you one of your own questions: What kind of landscape are you a part of? What landscape gives you a potent sense of belonging?

It was Keith Basso who wrote, “wisdom sits in places.” I love that phrase, and I see and feel the potency of that image and that understanding. Wisdom does sit in places—I have felt that. Have you? Having traveled around the world for many years, I came to believe that I could live anywhere. I still believe that. But not everywhere is home, is it? Not everywhere provides that sense of belonging and comfort and peace that comes with finding your place in the world. It has become clear to me that I resonate with some places more than with others, a deep heartfelt sense of “yes.” I’m not sure there is a cohesive thread between those places, either, in terms of physical landscape: Some are urban, others rural, many are near water. But the thread true to all of them is a great sense of love, of that hollowing out of the chest that comes with the urge to be there. And more and more, I realize that while there is a physicality to landscape—a longing to lie down on the earth, a wish to be in that space in a fuller way—there is more often than not a longing to be in a landscape of people I love. My girls are the mountains, my husband John is the rock I stand on to look out to sea, the people I meet because of my work are the fields of gold. And there is ample space for me to be alone, knowing they will be there when I come back, and that I take a part of them with me.

2. In Creative Is a Verb, you write about how we can sometimes deflect our creative selves. Is there a part of your creative self that you realized you’d been deflecting and have now fully owned?

I believe there are three ways we block ourselves from being our most creative: 1) False comparisons with others; 2) False expectations of ourselves; and 3) False investments in a story. All three of them are deflections that keep us from fully inhabiting that creative spark we had as children, the one before we started comparing our drawings of trees with the girl next to us in art class, before we started focusing on being the best rather than the most fully human, and before we had formed in concrete the story that we’re not the creative one, we’re the _________ one. The freest I’ve ever been is when I started writing 37days in 2005—I had only one intention: Not to build a successful blog (I really didn’t know what a blog was), and not to create a book, but simply to write my stories down for my two daughters in case I died. That was it. The power of a single intention. Life is a Verb quickly became a quiet bestseller.  And then the deflections began: What if my next book isn’t as good? Maybe I only had one book in me. What will people say if I tell the story of ________________? I’m not a guru, I’m an overweight white-haired slightly depressed menopausal woman. We wrap stories around everything. Every single thing. And I know now the story I can wrap around myself can either be one of joy and creativity and absolute wonder, or of comparisons. I choose Option A. Almost always.

3. As someone who is in demand as a speaker and travels frequently for business, what steps do you take to ensure that you have sufficient time to recharge? How are you creating stillness in your days?

This is a powerful question for me right now. I have only this year begun to practice this kind of self-love. Last year was sacred for me—there was a lot of death and illness and difficulty—and this year I want to create a spaciousness. Space on my calendar, space in my head and body, space in my house. So my answer this year is different than it has been in the past. Last year, this question would have drawn a blank stare from me, I fear. Because the answer would have been that I don’t do those things, I don’t take care of myself, I’m tired.

In response to recognizing that, I started a year of mindful eating and moving on January 1, 2011, to ensure that I recharge, take care of myself, create space in my head and body. My new blog, becoming bendy, is documenting this journey, and I can say that just a month into it, I feel healthier, both mentally and physically. My doctor put me on antidepressants at the end of 2010 and told me to lose weight to get my blood pressure down—it had gone up to 188/144, and that scared me. Having a father who died at 53 from heart issues is always in the back of my mind, especially as I teeter nearer and nearer to that age. Having a doctor look at me and ask if I was depressed also scared me: Was it that obvious I was in a bad space? Yes, yes it was. I was in a wet paper bag and couldn’t get out of it.

After a month of moving my body every day, paying attention to the structure of my days, eating vegan until dinnertime (I’ve been a vegetarian since 1976), I feel fundamentally different: more flexible, clear-headed, spacious, sure, and happy. Stillness is coming to me by design; I am creating space in my day for it. I just started a meditation practice, and am making time for that, too. My approach to wellness has changed—it no longer includes numbers and measurements, which has freed me up to really focus on wellness, and not on weight, to focus on a kinder, gentler way of being in the world as I am.

4. Because you’re such a frequent flier, you wrote in Creative Is a Verb of longing “for another perspective, the one at the eye level of corn.” What are a couple of small steps we can take when we’re craving a shift in perspective?

I love your questions, Marilyn. This has everything to do with really seeing what is in front of us every day. Not what we expect to see, but what is really there. As my business partner, David Robinson, says, what we are teaching people is akin to what he learned in art school (he’s a painter): To see. Anything that takes us out of our normal viewpoint does this: reading a magazine we wouldn’t normally read, going to a community meeting about an issue on which we haven’t focused, riding a city bus instead of driving, getting on our hands and knees and “walking” around our house at the level of a child, going as a guest to the gathering place of a religion we don’t practice, taking a photograph every day of the color red as we find it in our day, asking someone “what are you going through?” and then just listening to their answer without feeling the need to tell our story, looking at children’s art, using a wheelchair or crutches for a day, trying to learn to play a new instrument….there are a million simple ways. Madame Curie has said, “Dissymmetry causes phenomena.” Only when we are in some kind of disequilibrium can we really see. Find ways to knock yourself off balance. Daily.

5. Bullying seems to be rampant in the U.S. these days and it’s across the board—from the top levels of politics and media to the neighborhood schoolyard. What simple actions can begin to put an end to bullying in our daily lives?

Kindness is always an option. Always. If we are bullied, we need to respond with kindness. Not because it will teach the bully anything, but because it is a form of detachment that more beautifully expresses our own worldview. Everything that happens to us is free data—mostly about us. If I am bullied and fight back, I’ve become a bully myself. If I am bullied and refuse to pick up my end of the rope, I maintain my own integrity, my own deep sense of self that overrides any circumstance in which I find myself. I think anyone who makes fun of others is a bully—I’ve been one, and so have you. Websites like “the people of WalMart” and others that make fun of or seek to humiliate others—those are bullies. Sometimes our bosses are bullies and it takes a lot to stand up and detach inside that circumstance—those are the moments that really count. Sometimes detachment is the only way through. Not escalation, but detachment. Adults are bullies, perhaps more than children, but this epidemic of bullying in schools particularly bothers me—responsible adults (parents, teachers, community members) must speak up and be advocates for those we see being bullied who are, perhaps, too young to see that it will get better. Reach out to those children you perceive might be having a tough time, and listen to them. Intervene when necessary. If someone says your child is bullying, don’t become defensive—seek information and take action. We need to keep our children alive.

In a world in which public humiliation has become entertainment (reality television, tabloid news, for example), we’re not setting a good example for our children. We have to do better.

6. “I’ll try” is, as you write in Creative Is a Verb, the “enemy of intention.” In what area of your life did you realize you were sitting on the fence in the land of try and how did you get clear on your intention?

I’ve always been a leaper. I do change like the French Revolution. If I want to write a new blog or book because I have something new to document or say, I write it. There’s no strategy except the strategy of saying what I most long to say. Impetuous? You bet. So I don’t stay in the land of try very often, but I do recognize its seductive qualities: let’s research the ever loving hell out of something before moving forward, let’s hold another focus group, let’s benchmark some best practices. These all imply an intention of selling; my intention is saying.

“How” is a far easier question to ask (and answer) than “why.” But it’s the “why” that matters.

7. There’s a chapter in Creative Is a Verb called “Listen to tiny fishies” where you tell a lovely story about something that happened with your daughter, Emma, when she was three years old. You write, “I had finally stopped flying long enough to hear her.” What’s one thing you’ve recently realized that you had stopped long enough to hear?

I got a message on my cell phone during my last book tour from my youngest daughter, Tess, who is now seven years old. Her little voice quavered and broke as she said, “Momma, please come home. I need you.” I think you can imagine how this broke my heart. So I’m looking for ways to share my work and stay home more. Sometimes we have to hear the same message over and over again, don’t we? The message from Emma was the same message: “I dreamed I was a little tiny fish and I couldn’t find my mommy,” she said. Tess is saying the same thing. I’m listening. Again.

8. Both Life Is a Verb and Creative Is a Verb were collaborative projects where you incorporated art and poetry from your readers around the world. What have you enjoyed most about the collaborative process while creating your recent books?

These collaborations have changed my life. At a most basic level, it is hard for me to ask for help. There are probably a lot of reasons for that—but I’ve always been the one others go to for help and it’s hard to create space for me to ask others. I’m working on that. I remember when my father died—I was just a teenager, but every adult around me, from my mother to the funeral home director, asked me what to do next, how to set up the funeral, what songs to use. I love being of service to others, and I now realize how precious it is to open up that space for others to help us. When Life is a Verb was being published and there was this extraordinary outpouring of love and art and poetry from readers, I was made speechless by the generosity. I simply asked, and the world opened up its heart to me. It was an artistic barn raising of such magnitude, and made the book a work of art created by love. Opening up space for people to make art is part of my work now, and I dearly love that. To see interpretations of my words into art is so meaningful and humbling to me. I love the community that has gathered to create art. In my newest book, What I Wish For You: Simple Wisdom for a Happy Life, coming out this spring, you’ll see contributions from people around the world, both in art and in writing. The wisdom we need is within all of us. All of us have something to say—we have all walked across our own personal desert. Not just the famous people, the ones we often pay attention to, but all of us have a wisdom. I’m so delighted to open space up for the saying.

My collaborative blog, 3x3x365: 3 friends, 3 states, a photo every day in 2011, was born out of an online friendship with two extraordinary women, true storytellers. I love their perspectives on life. The three of us have never met in one place at the same time, and this project is a way for us to deepen our friendship across distance. I am loving the way our photos and stories (none of which are shared beforehand) are intertwining and revealing the connections that are there between all humans, but we don’t see them.

9. One of my all-time favorite 37 Days essays is “Follow your desire lines.” You wrote, “Natural human purpose. What is mine? Yours? Maybe if I look at the paths I’ve worn, over and over again, I’ll see that purpose show itself…” That post was written on December 7, 2005. Patti, in the ensuing years, what have you learned about your desire lines?

I love these questions, Marilyn. In these six years, I have found the power of a single intention—not writing to have a successful blog, not writing to get a certain number of page views, not writing to get a book contract, but just writing. Writing what I long to say, separate from all those measures we place on ourselves. Playing with language to make it say what I most need and long to say—an extraordinary process if divorced from outcome. Living in the process (and not the outcome) of writing is one of my desire lines. And some days it is a struggle, that, because we are surrounded by people measuring things and expecting us to.

Opening space for people to say what they long to say is another. Living life on a very human scale is another—meeting people one-on-one and listening to their stories and telling mine. My desire lines are now vastly different from eleven years ago when my first business book was published. There is a vulnerability inherent in my desire lines now, a knowing, a private journey that plays out in my words. I’m getting better at stepping into my own journey and letting go of the expectations of others. There is a simplicity to knowing, and I am enjoying the spaciousness that allows.

Beyond all that, my desire lines are, ultimately, intensely personal: to be a mother to my children, a friend to other humans, an activist working for social justice, and an artist whose art shows up in the world in many different forms. I don’t want to be an expert, but a friend, a collaborator, a teller of my own truths.

Blogs:  37 Days, becoming bendy, 3x3x365

The Circle Project

37 Days shop

Creative Is a Verb Retreat - April 7-10, 2011 (near Asheville, NC - limited to 16 participants)

Twitter:  @pattidigh

Facebook:  Patti Digh