May 11, 2008

faithful

i can feel myself losing
my religion losing my faith
losing my grip on that
bedrock that foundation
that keeps me solid
i can't turn to a pastor
there's no preacher
in sight i can't set foot
inside a church or turn
to a congregation for
solace and support
there's no offering being
taken up on my behalf
no prayers being said
except inside my head
because the only faith
i filled myself with was
the one of divine self
when i promised to love
honor and cherish i
wasn't looking at you
i was looking in a mirror
and when the faithful
are no longer full of faith
there's only one place
to turn...and that's
inside

fantasy

for as much as we like
to daydream and imagine
and visualize ultimate
outcomes and put images
on dream boards and
collage positive slogans
and write new life
scripts and make 1001 in
101 lists and plant seeds
of inspiration and
network like maniacs and
tout ourselves on the
internet and design new
business cards and come
up with creative business
plans and plan to let
go of the day job and
get ready to make the leap
we still sometimes forget
that once we do all of that
we still have to just...
do it

ferocious

you can be fierce
or you can be brave
or you can try to write
the right into place

you can be daring
and wish on the moon
or you can sing for yourself
an uncharted tune

you can be fearless
or you can be haughty
but nice knows it pales
when it stands next to naughty

you can be wise
and you can be giving
but reception's the foundation
for meaningful living

you can be a connector
or you can go it alone
but don't forget ferocious
and never forget to atone

identity

do i identify with my
identity or do i identify
with how you see me?
do i indemnify my
pedagoguery or crucify
my self-imagery?
do i morph into a
non-entity? does my
soul cry out obscenities?
do i stumble along
full of amenity?
or do i say fuck it all
and grab serenity?

outrageous

i suppose it's no accident
that rage lives inside
outrageous
we often think of it as
outlandish or overly
eccentric or over the top
forgetting that to feel
outrage is to feel so
enraged that it's hard to
keep it contained
within our bodies
sometimes we act like
calling someone outrageous
is a compliment a tip
o' the hat to someone who
has the balls to do or say
things we wouldn't dare
but isn't it really more of
a backhanded compliment
where by stamping that
label on someone we're saying
we really don't approve of
or condone what one is or
has become?  seems to
me that if one can go through
this life without ever
sparking outrage then maybe
one isn't really leading
a very interesting life

completion

what does it mean
to come full circle?  does it
mean to go back
to square one?
to reinvent oneself so much
that you're back to
the original canvas? 
or is it a spiraling
of layers?  is it like when
you peel an apple in
one fell swoop?  so that
even though the direction
is the same the depth
is not.  maybe the best
kind of full circle is done
where one keeps circling,
circling back around while
simultaneously treading
downward.  maybe full circle
means to dig deeper and
deeper until we finally
reach that seed place where
we can begin to bloom...
on the other side.

April 21, 2008

YES

i wish to say YES to...
wild rivers and abandoned
barns streams to wade in and
bonfires on the beach
salad from the garden and
naps in a hammock coolers
full of Coke and ladybugs
on my hands treetops that
whistle and trains that
roll slowly through town
old film cameras and vintage
ball gowns black and
white movies and upright
pianos fields full of sunflowers
and wicker picnic baskets
tomato soup in a mug
and grilled cheese sandwiches
tea with some honey and
unlimited crayons starry nights
that amaze and cuddly puppies
that heal Gerber daisies
by the handful and books
that take me far away
long steamy showers and
feet in bare grass sleeping
in a tent with my poetry
muse nearby little children
laughing and kites in
the sky ...

April 12, 2008

a poet's last stance

when all is said and done
and thoughts have been put away
i'll turn my eyelids to the sky
and bathe in a galaxy far away
music will course through my veins
tenderness will hold my hand
i'll journey to the far reaches
of my last poetic stance
numbers will fall away
memories will fade with time
i'll release fear from custody
and do the dance of rhyme
there'll be no need for mirrors
or for dressing of any kind
movement will replace thinking
the universe will grant time
for all that i might be
and all that i might find
when i reach into my soul
for the unspoken waiting there
i'll throw back my head and laugh
at the beauty of what i dare

April 10, 2008

lost highway

time slips past as
heartbeats anchor days
the scenery's a blur
on this lost highway
eyelids flutter
quell the pain
can't help yourself
look back anyway
if only you could
roll up the window
shut out the world
hum your history
to the beat of the road
smile to yourself
in the rearview mirror
lose yourself
to your self
close your eyes
tickle death
in between sighs
the journey unfurls
beneath your tires
sometimes the only
way back is on
the lost highway

March 30, 2008

i just don't get it

i just don't get
how fear leads to anger
how insecurity leads to rage
how we can turn
our vulnerability
inside out and
put our dramas
on a mental stage
to lash out at our brothers
to curse out at our sisters
let our thoughts
be run by fears
when what we really want
is to dissolve
in a release
of quiet tears
where is that middle place
between fear and rage
that place where we
stop ourselves
where we quietly
turn the page
let our anger
morph into tears
let shouted words
go unspoken
let our hearts
become quiet
before our spirits
get broken
take me there please
to a gentler place
and time
where i care less
about saving face
and more about communion
with the divine