La Salonniere

Jamie Ridler

Jamie Ridler is a creative living coach. Her website, Jamie Ridler Studios, is a valuable resource for anyone who wants to pursue their creative dream or even just incorporate a little more creativity into their life. Jamie provides one-on-one and group coaching, hosts online communities, offers creative courses, publishes a weekly podcast and writes a wonderful email newsletter. Everything she does seems grounded in kindness. She is truly one of the nicest people I know. Jamie resides in Toronto, Ontario, with her husband, Justin, and their cat, Jinx. She has inspired me many times, so it gives me great pleasure to feature her here.

1. Jamie, you’ve written that you were a late bloomer and detoured around your creative path many times—that it took awhile to reach the level of creative success you’ve achieved. When your life circumstances were pulling you away from your creative path, how did you manage to keep your creative spark alive?

In a word: journaling. Journaling has been a constant and a lifeline during the difficult times, particularly when I was finding my way. During one major turning point, I worked passionately through The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. I wrote morning pages (3 pages of long-hand freeform writing) every day and that’s what started to shift things. I could see in black and white what I was yearning for, what I was upset by again and again. I could see what had to change and the direction I had to go. In my writing, I came face-to-face with my self and with the “me” I wanted to be.  Journaling helped me see, acknowledge and commit to my creative path.

2. Many in the creative blogosphere have gotten to know you from your wonderful online community, Wishcasting Wednesday, and the accompanying Wishcasting Journal. For readers who might not be familiar with Wishcasting, can you explain what the process is? Can anyone participate?

Absolutely, everyone can participate! On Wednesdays, I share a prompt for wishing. It might be, “What do you wish for your body?” or “What do you wish to create?” or “What do you wish to say no to?” You can answer in your journal or answer in your heart. If you have a blog, you can answer in a post, share your link and you’ll find other Wishcasters coming by and supporting you with our shared phrase, “As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you also.” A beautiful, loving community has grown around this weekly ritual. It’s magic.

I also created the Wishcasting journal as an offline way of developing this powerful practice. The journal has 52 prompts that you can answer at your own pace, in your own way. Open the journal at random in the morning and make a wish! Bring it to life by writing it out, drawing it or gluing in pictures of what you’re dreaming of.  By developing a regular practice of checking in with our hearts and expressing our desires, we invite magic and possibility into our lives. After years of Wishcasting, I’ve seen the truth and beauty of that again and again.

3. Each Tuesday you publish your podcast, Creative Living with Jamie, where you interview inspiring people who are following creative paths. How has conducting creative interviews deepened your own creative process?

Amazingly so! I feel so blessed that I have this opportunity to chat with people at different stages and in different disciplines about their creative journey. There are moments when we’re both nodding our heads (and I know the audience is too!) because we recognize the same places, the same fears, the same joys. And there are times when someone shares something and it opens up a whole new way of thinking, a whole new range of possibilities. This happened for me when I interviewed photographer Tracey Clark. She opened me up to whole new ways of playing with my camera. I had in my mind that I needed to understand f-stops and apertures before I could use them. Tracey helped me see that I could experiment. I could take a shot, shift the settings, take a shot and see what happens. That was a revelation!

Being in conversation with great guests and amazing listeners helps me discover what our core concerns are. As creative spirits, where do we get stuck? What strategies help? What do we adore? What questions keep coming up? What inspires us? I find this wildly creatively exciting. It sparks my curiosity, fuels my sense of vision and inspires me to help. It drives what I do at Jamie Ridler Studios, helping me share great content and design classes, products and services that are really rooted in what my community wants and needs.

For example, the number one challenge I heard from everyone was time. That’s why I created my new e-course, Sparkles. It is a series of 31 simple daily creative prompts brought to you by an amazing group of inspiring teachers and designed to spark your creative spirit in 5 minutes (or less!) a day. I keep telling everyone – it changes everything when you Sparkle!

4. I really like the way you use social media. Your Twitter feed and Facebook page are both brimming with positive inspiration, and you seem to genuinely enjoy engaging with your followers. As a self-employed creative professional, how has social media benefited your business?

Thank you so much, Marilyn! I just love social media, especially Twitter. For a solopreneur, it is such a gift to be able to connect with all of these amazing people every single day. It’s like stepping into the coolest lunchroom and having fun and fascinating conversations with inspiring people all over the world. How good is that?!

And yes, it has absolutely benefited my business. I have received invitations to teach workshops, guest post, participate in events, contribute to products and be on podcasts, all from people who’ve come to know me through social media. I have also developed inspiring entrepreneurial friendships. Every month I meet with an amazing group of women innerpreneurs here in Toronto; we all met through social media. I have gained a community, clients and opportunities and had a great time meeting, connecting and sharing with the most amazing people from around the world.  I love it.

5. Let’s talk about The Elder Sister Project at Roots of She. We don’t typically see a lot of conversation about aging at creative sites. What compelled you to tackle such an important topic under a creative umbrella? What sorts of themes do you hope to explore?

This project has been stirring in me for the past couple of years. I’d been thinking a lot about aging myself and didn’t really feel like I had anyone to have a frank, compassionate discussion with. Conversations about aging seem to be limited to self-deprecating jokes. I wanted to feel connected to other women. I wanted to know what they were going through. I wanted to know if I was alone in feeling what I was feeling. With The Elder Sister Project, I quickly found I wasn’t!

The conversation has been amazing, inspiring, thought-provoking and real. No doubt there is a lot of tenderness and privacy around the topic. The rawness of what people shared with me behind the scenes has been deeply moving. I hope that the series has at least started the discussion. I encourage anyone who’s been inspired by it to continue – write an article, write a story, write to the media and say you want more real stories on this, create a photo series (I did one of me from when I was a baby until now). I’ve written about what our worries and questions are, about our relationship to our bodies, how we see ourselves, how we change over time, how we can empower ourselves through shifting our questions. I covered a lot of ground in the series but it’s only a ripple on the surface. There’s so much more that needs to be explored!

6. Dance is typically perceived as a young person’s medium and activity. As a dancer who’s also exploring the shifting landscape of aging, can you suggest a few simple ideas that Elder Sisters can incorporate into their daily lives to experience the joy of dance?

Dance is my first love and helping people come to their dance is something I’m called to do. The simplest thing of all is to pick a song, just one song, and dance. Just dance. Don’t worry if it’s just a shuffle. Don’t worry what you look like. Close your eyes. Close the door. Let your body feel the music and move. We are born to move. Look at babies, how they move all the time – wiggle, wiggle, wiggle.  That impulse brings us alive.

If it feels really awkward and you don’t know what to do, choose one part of your body to dance. Put on that song and say, today, I’m just going to move my hips. I’m going to let me hips respond to the music. Or today, I’m just going to dance with my hands. I’m going to lie here in bed with my iPod on and let me hands do the dancing. Or my feet. Or my fingers. Just start. Your body will thank you – and so will your spirit. Dance belongs to everybody. And it belongs to us for a lifetime.

7. I love that sophistication is one of your style touchstones. How does city life in Toronto enable you to unleash your sophisticated side?

I love you, Marilyn! I’m a city girl through and through. I love coffee shops and book stores, galleries and movie theatres, museums and amazing restaurants. Toronto has all of that and more. There are so many events in Toronto you couldn’t possibly do them all! You could go to a book launch one day, dragon-boat racing another, take a hooping class, grab a meal in Little India and finish your week off with a candlelit night of storytelling.

So how does a girl dress for all that? I’m a big lover of simple elegance. I want the same outfit to take me everywhere, (okay, I’ll change for hooping) and I want to be able to move. I love walking through the city and seeing what’s going on, so comfortable, awesome boots are always a win! It often surprises people too that I’m pretty formal. I’m not a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl. Not even at home. I’d rather sparkle. I like to dress up. I like special occasions. I like a sense of event and grandeur and I love to create opportunities for that.

8. You’ve shared that one of your recent goals is to be a more adventurous traveler. What destinations are you hoping to visit in 2011 and how will those trips help you to meet that goal?

This whole traveling thing has been absolutely amazing! Early last year when I set the intention, all of a sudden I had so many places to go! I went to the Kripalu Center to assist Jennifer Louden on retreat. I went to Portsmouth, NH for a fantastic workshop with Alicia Forest and visited some awesome blogging friends in the Boston area. I spent an incredible week in San Francisco for my brother’s wedding! I’m still beaming over how it all came to life!

This year I’m planning to go to Portland for Chris Guillebeau’s World Domination Summit (and thank you, Marilyn, for your awesome Portland recommendations!) I’m going to Nova Scotia to visit my sister, Suzie the Foodie. (You can imagine how spoiled I’ll be with good food there!) I’m going to Portsmouth again in the fall and Justin and I are thinking of a weekend jaunt to Chicago! 

Travel has become a part of my life and I love it! The next big challenge for growing my traveling confidence will be going someplace where I can’t rely on English!

9. You’re always so sunny and positive, yet everyone has off days and needs downtime. When you’re feeling depleted, what steps do you take to nourish and recharge yourself?

Absolutely! Shifting gears is a big part of it for me. I’m incredibly driven and can really throw myself in, so when I’m getting depleted I need to “slowly step away from the computer, Ms. Ridler” and go for a walk, hang out with my honey, read a book, go to a movie, take a Nia class, watch some bad TV, crochet. But my ultimate favourite refresh experience is to go to the spa. It gets me outside of the house, so I can’t get tempted to do more work, and connects me to my body, reminding me to love and take care of my life and my self. A half-day getaway - a relaxing facial, a delightful lunch, lounging with a book in a quiet, beautiful environment – is like a mini vacation for me. I always feel like a new woman when I walk out the door.

10. Let’s end the interview with some Wishcasting. Jamie, what do you wish to manifest in your creative life in the next year?

I have so many wishes! I wish to build a loving, talented team at Jamie Ridler Studios so that I can get even more amazing inspiration out there and serve even more creative spirits! I wish to spend more time in my body, dancing, running, finding my way into yoga. I wish to expand my knowledge of video making so I can bring more ideas to life – maybe even a documentary. I wish to invest in beautiful jewellery. I wish to relearn how to drive (I’m scared to say that one out loud because then I’ll have to start doing it!) I wish to spend more time in studio spaces. I wish to fill my practice with creative breakthrough sessions. I wish to launch a new offering called “Studio Time with Jamie” where you come play in the studio with me and we discover your vision and create a plan to get you into action. I wish to shine a light that inspires more and more people to awaken their creative potential. I wish to be a light in the world.

 

Website and Blog:  Jamie Ridler Studios

Sparkles e-course

A Year of Dreams

Workshop in a Box:  Soul Reflections – The Home Edition

Your Creative Spark: Inspiring Interviews with 12 Highly Creative Bloggers

Podcast (every Tuesday):  Creative Living with Jamie

Wishcasting Wednesday (every Wednesday)

Full Moon Dreamboards (Monthly)

Twitter: @starshyne

Facebook:  Jamie Ridler Studios

Shyne Like a Star Virtual Dance Party (Every May 1)

LeAnn Locher

LeAnn Locher is a force for good in this world. She’s a blogger, foodie, master gardener, gardening columnist and podcaster. And yet as fabulous as she is at doing all of that, it’s her client work that truly makes her shine. LeAnn is passionate about her work. Her communication and design firm, LeAnn Locher & Associates, works with clients who make a difference, including nonprofit organizations, public agencies and socially responsible businesses. LeAnn resides in Portland, Oregon with her partner, Adela, and their adorable dog, Wink. She’s a smart and interesting woman and I know you’re going to enjoy hearing what she has to say.

1. One of my favorite lines on the “About us” page on your website is, “I’m a storyteller at heart and I believe that a well-crafted story can make a difference in the world.” What was your first awakening to the notion of storytelling as change agent?

Early on in the cause marketing movement I met a marketing executive whose card read “storyteller” as her job title. And it dawned on me that the simplicity, at its core, of what we do in social cause work is the secret. When we simply tell our story, in all of its honesty, there need be no spin. Telling your story opens up others to see themselves in your story alongside you, to volunteer, to give, to participate, to help, and all of my clients strive to do that with their audiences. Storytelling is a vehicle to share personal emotions and impacts, and when crafted and told well, is like magic. It’s because of this my clients tell me “you really get it.” I simply help them tell their story.

2. Recently you helped launch a fantastic new website, National Resource Center on LGBT Aging. The project was funded with a grant from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. What kinds of resources will the site offer?

We’re still in the development stage for many of the tools, but one of the first areas of focus will be providing support for caregivers. Many members of the LGBT aging community are cared for by friends, family members, etc. who may not have support themselves. Best practices for caregiving, how to find caregiver support in your area, and resources on topics ranging from cultural competency to mental health to spirituality will be available via the new website. In addition, information and resources for financial assistance, housing, and living with HIV will play a large role in the many publications and multimedia that will be available. The Resource Center will also offer training and technical assistance to providers of aging services and LGBT organizations to ensure that they have the tools and knowledge to meet the most pressing needs of LGBT older adults.

3. Your blog, Lelo in Nopo, is one of my happy places online. It’s filled with beautiful photographs and stories about your gardening and food adventures. I love to read about your food preserving and crafting projects. Can you suggest a simple food crafting project for people like me who aren’t very skilled in the kitchen? (Note to readers: Check LeAnn’s blog sidebar for links to great recipes!)

Thank you for your kind words! I have two for you….

If you love a good salad, try crafting your own flavored vinegars. Steeped in fruit and herbs, the vinegar is perfect for mixing with a little olive oil for flavorful homemade dressings that aren’t chock full of preservatives like so many store-bought salad dressings are. My favorite is blueberry basil, and strawberry vinegar is tasty, too. Here are the directions and inspiration to get you going:

Infusing vinegar: getting in touch with my inner mad scientist

If you can peel lemons and pour booze you can make limoncello! Such a fun project to do this time of year when citrus is in massive abundance from my home state of California: the scent emersion it provides for us in the Northern areas of the country is a nice jolt out of our winter blahs, and because it has to age, while you make it you can dream of the warm summertime parties where you’ll be sipping this with friends.

A commitment to limoncello

4. In 2010 you began a weekly podcast, Lelo Homemade. What have you enjoyed most about podcasting?

I just have a love of learning new tricks, and audio has been a lot of fun, and challenging. I love interviewing people, so to record our conversations and have an excuse to talk to smart and wonderful people is a bonus! It’s the same kind of content I write or blog about, but rendered in a different way. I find it fascinating.

5. You write a gardening column, Sassy Gardener, for Oregon’s statewide LGBT print magazine, Just Out, and you’re an OSU Extension Master Gardener. What are some of the particular challenges that Pacific Northwest gardeners face?

Slugs and soggy bottoms. Which do you want to hear about first? Okay, so slugs are notorious here, and come with the territory of wet cool weather. If you have them bad, they’ll take out an entire plant overnight. I’ve known gardeners to hunt for them at night with a miner’s lamp on their head. I just throw them in the street if I find them. I mean, I’ve heard you can throw them in the street if you find them. J As for soggy bottoms, that’s in reference to boggy areas that aren’t well drained. We actually have Mediterranean-like summers here, and many of the same plants that grow in the Mediterranean grow well here, except you have to make sure their roots don’t sit in water and are situated in well-drained areas. Root rot will kill plants just as much as a cold snap. Just say no to soggy bottoms.

6. I know you’ve been watching IFC’s new series, Portlandia, which delightfully skewers 1990’s Portland. Can you share one of your own favorite only-in-Portland moments?

There’s a woman who walks her goats in my urban North Portland neighborhood, does that count? Also, the feminist bookstore they parody? It’s also in my neighborhood and it’s not that far off of a parody. Sometimes I question myself for not having any tattoos. Seriously. I think that’s got to change. I love that show: it hits really, really close to home!

7. As a self-employed business owner, what are some things you do to experience balance in your day-to-day life?

I’ve been keeping a daily list of to-dos that are all grounded in a daily intention, and my list of to-dos include tasks I’m doing for my clients, my health, my partner, the garden, fun, etc. It’s easy to get lost in busy work time. The focus this list brings to my whole life is really helpful. The daily intention helps me come back to my core and connect to my bigger purpose and meaning for that day. Another thing I do is have a wonderful support system of other like-minded friends and business leaders who I can share ideas with: whether it’s a skype chat or a breakfast meeting, these moments with other amazingly inspiring women are like gold. The issue of balance is something I’m really working on!

8. Tell us about Wink. I’ve been reading about her for awhile, but I’d like the readers here to get to know her. What has Wink been teaching you lately?

Wink is our 5-year-old maltese poodle, also known as a maltipoo, and also known as The Cutest Dog In The World ^TM. If you think she’s a high strung yipper, you’re wrong. She’s super sweet, loyal, and easy going, and such a happy dog. Last summer she was struck with SARDS (Sudden Acquired Retinal Degeneration Syndrome) which left her completely blind, and a few months later, was diagnosed with megaesophagus. This week, it appears as if she’s gone partially deaf in response to an ear medication. Her immune system is compromised, and yet she is still so happy and loving, and finding joy in simple things like a heating vent on high on a cold winter day, a visiting baby who she stands guard over, or a lap to curl up on and cuddle with. With each setback we face, she clearly responds with a love of life. How can we not be learning from that? She’s part of the reason why I’m so intent to stay focused on my intentions every day, and to be grateful for the day before me. We never know what’s to come.

9. Let’s end where we started, with storytelling. What’s the story you’d like to tell in 2011?

Of the girl who took control of her life: I’m going through a transformation of self that I’m not currently documenting on my blog or even talking about with very many people, and I’m still grappling with the elements of this story. Key themes include boundaries, happiness, intention, physical fitness, body image, shame, joy, vulnerability, less time online, wild success, creativity, love and stepping into the uncomfortable. Somewhere in there are the bones to a really incredible story, and a story I’m living in 2011. Beyond that? Any of the stories for my incredible clients on issues of LGBT rights, women’s and reproductive rights, health, and children and families. I’m the luckiest girl in the world to work with the clients I do and help them tell these stories.

Website:  LeAnn Locher & Associates

Blog:  Lelo in Nopo

Podcast:  Lelo Homemade

Twitter:  @Lelonopo

Facebook:  LeAnn Locher

Metro Master Gardeners (Portland, OR)

Just Out

National Resource Center on LGBT Aging

Patti Digh

When I first discovered Patti Digh’s extraordinary blog, 37 Days, in 2005, I felt like I was home. Who was this extraordinary woman whose every post resonated so loudly with me? Patti is the author of several books, most recently Life Is a Verb, Creative Is a Verb and Four-Word Self-Help: Simple Wisdom for Complex Lives. She is a popular speaker and with her partner, David Robinson, the co-founder of The Circle Project which is transforming K-12 and teacher education and providing telecoaching experiences and retreats for individuals. Patti resides in Asheville, North Carolina with her amazing husband, Mr. Brilliant, and her younger daughter, Tess, a blazing-bright creative being. Her older daughter, Emma, is a student at North Carolina State and totally rocks the sousaphone section of their marching band. Patti is one of the most heart-centered people I know and I’m honored to call her friend.

1. Let me start by asking you one of your own questions: What kind of landscape are you a part of? What landscape gives you a potent sense of belonging?

It was Keith Basso who wrote, “wisdom sits in places.” I love that phrase, and I see and feel the potency of that image and that understanding. Wisdom does sit in places—I have felt that. Have you? Having traveled around the world for many years, I came to believe that I could live anywhere. I still believe that. But not everywhere is home, is it? Not everywhere provides that sense of belonging and comfort and peace that comes with finding your place in the world. It has become clear to me that I resonate with some places more than with others, a deep heartfelt sense of “yes.” I’m not sure there is a cohesive thread between those places, either, in terms of physical landscape: Some are urban, others rural, many are near water. But the thread true to all of them is a great sense of love, of that hollowing out of the chest that comes with the urge to be there. And more and more, I realize that while there is a physicality to landscape—a longing to lie down on the earth, a wish to be in that space in a fuller way—there is more often than not a longing to be in a landscape of people I love. My girls are the mountains, my husband John is the rock I stand on to look out to sea, the people I meet because of my work are the fields of gold. And there is ample space for me to be alone, knowing they will be there when I come back, and that I take a part of them with me.

2. In Creative Is a Verb, you write about how we can sometimes deflect our creative selves. Is there a part of your creative self that you realized you’d been deflecting and have now fully owned?

I believe there are three ways we block ourselves from being our most creative: 1) False comparisons with others; 2) False expectations of ourselves; and 3) False investments in a story. All three of them are deflections that keep us from fully inhabiting that creative spark we had as children, the one before we started comparing our drawings of trees with the girl next to us in art class, before we started focusing on being the best rather than the most fully human, and before we had formed in concrete the story that we’re not the creative one, we’re the _________ one. The freest I’ve ever been is when I started writing 37days in 2005—I had only one intention: Not to build a successful blog (I really didn’t know what a blog was), and not to create a book, but simply to write my stories down for my two daughters in case I died. That was it. The power of a single intention. Life is a Verb quickly became a quiet bestseller.  And then the deflections began: What if my next book isn’t as good? Maybe I only had one book in me. What will people say if I tell the story of ________________? I’m not a guru, I’m an overweight white-haired slightly depressed menopausal woman. We wrap stories around everything. Every single thing. And I know now the story I can wrap around myself can either be one of joy and creativity and absolute wonder, or of comparisons. I choose Option A. Almost always.

3. As someone who is in demand as a speaker and travels frequently for business, what steps do you take to ensure that you have sufficient time to recharge? How are you creating stillness in your days?

This is a powerful question for me right now. I have only this year begun to practice this kind of self-love. Last year was sacred for me—there was a lot of death and illness and difficulty—and this year I want to create a spaciousness. Space on my calendar, space in my head and body, space in my house. So my answer this year is different than it has been in the past. Last year, this question would have drawn a blank stare from me, I fear. Because the answer would have been that I don’t do those things, I don’t take care of myself, I’m tired.

In response to recognizing that, I started a year of mindful eating and moving on January 1, 2011, to ensure that I recharge, take care of myself, create space in my head and body. My new blog, becoming bendy, is documenting this journey, and I can say that just a month into it, I feel healthier, both mentally and physically. My doctor put me on antidepressants at the end of 2010 and told me to lose weight to get my blood pressure down—it had gone up to 188/144, and that scared me. Having a father who died at 53 from heart issues is always in the back of my mind, especially as I teeter nearer and nearer to that age. Having a doctor look at me and ask if I was depressed also scared me: Was it that obvious I was in a bad space? Yes, yes it was. I was in a wet paper bag and couldn’t get out of it.

After a month of moving my body every day, paying attention to the structure of my days, eating vegan until dinnertime (I’ve been a vegetarian since 1976), I feel fundamentally different: more flexible, clear-headed, spacious, sure, and happy. Stillness is coming to me by design; I am creating space in my day for it. I just started a meditation practice, and am making time for that, too. My approach to wellness has changed—it no longer includes numbers and measurements, which has freed me up to really focus on wellness, and not on weight, to focus on a kinder, gentler way of being in the world as I am.

4. Because you’re such a frequent flier, you wrote in Creative Is a Verb of longing “for another perspective, the one at the eye level of corn.” What are a couple of small steps we can take when we’re craving a shift in perspective?

I love your questions, Marilyn. This has everything to do with really seeing what is in front of us every day. Not what we expect to see, but what is really there. As my business partner, David Robinson, says, what we are teaching people is akin to what he learned in art school (he’s a painter): To see. Anything that takes us out of our normal viewpoint does this: reading a magazine we wouldn’t normally read, going to a community meeting about an issue on which we haven’t focused, riding a city bus instead of driving, getting on our hands and knees and “walking” around our house at the level of a child, going as a guest to the gathering place of a religion we don’t practice, taking a photograph every day of the color red as we find it in our day, asking someone “what are you going through?” and then just listening to their answer without feeling the need to tell our story, looking at children’s art, using a wheelchair or crutches for a day, trying to learn to play a new instrument….there are a million simple ways. Madame Curie has said, “Dissymmetry causes phenomena.” Only when we are in some kind of disequilibrium can we really see. Find ways to knock yourself off balance. Daily.

5. Bullying seems to be rampant in the U.S. these days and it’s across the board—from the top levels of politics and media to the neighborhood schoolyard. What simple actions can begin to put an end to bullying in our daily lives?

Kindness is always an option. Always. If we are bullied, we need to respond with kindness. Not because it will teach the bully anything, but because it is a form of detachment that more beautifully expresses our own worldview. Everything that happens to us is free data—mostly about us. If I am bullied and fight back, I’ve become a bully myself. If I am bullied and refuse to pick up my end of the rope, I maintain my own integrity, my own deep sense of self that overrides any circumstance in which I find myself. I think anyone who makes fun of others is a bully—I’ve been one, and so have you. Websites like “the people of WalMart” and others that make fun of or seek to humiliate others—those are bullies. Sometimes our bosses are bullies and it takes a lot to stand up and detach inside that circumstance—those are the moments that really count. Sometimes detachment is the only way through. Not escalation, but detachment. Adults are bullies, perhaps more than children, but this epidemic of bullying in schools particularly bothers me—responsible adults (parents, teachers, community members) must speak up and be advocates for those we see being bullied who are, perhaps, too young to see that it will get better. Reach out to those children you perceive might be having a tough time, and listen to them. Intervene when necessary. If someone says your child is bullying, don’t become defensive—seek information and take action. We need to keep our children alive.

In a world in which public humiliation has become entertainment (reality television, tabloid news, for example), we’re not setting a good example for our children. We have to do better.

6. “I’ll try” is, as you write in Creative Is a Verb, the “enemy of intention.” In what area of your life did you realize you were sitting on the fence in the land of try and how did you get clear on your intention?

I’ve always been a leaper. I do change like the French Revolution. If I want to write a new blog or book because I have something new to document or say, I write it. There’s no strategy except the strategy of saying what I most long to say. Impetuous? You bet. So I don’t stay in the land of try very often, but I do recognize its seductive qualities: let’s research the ever loving hell out of something before moving forward, let’s hold another focus group, let’s benchmark some best practices. These all imply an intention of selling; my intention is saying.

“How” is a far easier question to ask (and answer) than “why.” But it’s the “why” that matters.

7. There’s a chapter in Creative Is a Verb called “Listen to tiny fishies” where you tell a lovely story about something that happened with your daughter, Emma, when she was three years old. You write, “I had finally stopped flying long enough to hear her.” What’s one thing you’ve recently realized that you had stopped long enough to hear?

I got a message on my cell phone during my last book tour from my youngest daughter, Tess, who is now seven years old. Her little voice quavered and broke as she said, “Momma, please come home. I need you.” I think you can imagine how this broke my heart. So I’m looking for ways to share my work and stay home more. Sometimes we have to hear the same message over and over again, don’t we? The message from Emma was the same message: “I dreamed I was a little tiny fish and I couldn’t find my mommy,” she said. Tess is saying the same thing. I’m listening. Again.

8. Both Life Is a Verb and Creative Is a Verb were collaborative projects where you incorporated art and poetry from your readers around the world. What have you enjoyed most about the collaborative process while creating your recent books?

These collaborations have changed my life. At a most basic level, it is hard for me to ask for help. There are probably a lot of reasons for that—but I’ve always been the one others go to for help and it’s hard to create space for me to ask others. I’m working on that. I remember when my father died—I was just a teenager, but every adult around me, from my mother to the funeral home director, asked me what to do next, how to set up the funeral, what songs to use. I love being of service to others, and I now realize how precious it is to open up that space for others to help us. When Life is a Verb was being published and there was this extraordinary outpouring of love and art and poetry from readers, I was made speechless by the generosity. I simply asked, and the world opened up its heart to me. It was an artistic barn raising of such magnitude, and made the book a work of art created by love. Opening up space for people to make art is part of my work now, and I dearly love that. To see interpretations of my words into art is so meaningful and humbling to me. I love the community that has gathered to create art. In my newest book, What I Wish For You: Simple Wisdom for a Happy Life, coming out this spring, you’ll see contributions from people around the world, both in art and in writing. The wisdom we need is within all of us. All of us have something to say—we have all walked across our own personal desert. Not just the famous people, the ones we often pay attention to, but all of us have a wisdom. I’m so delighted to open space up for the saying.

My collaborative blog, 3x3x365: 3 friends, 3 states, a photo every day in 2011, was born out of an online friendship with two extraordinary women, true storytellers. I love their perspectives on life. The three of us have never met in one place at the same time, and this project is a way for us to deepen our friendship across distance. I am loving the way our photos and stories (none of which are shared beforehand) are intertwining and revealing the connections that are there between all humans, but we don’t see them.

9. One of my all-time favorite 37 Days essays is “Follow your desire lines.” You wrote, “Natural human purpose. What is mine? Yours? Maybe if I look at the paths I’ve worn, over and over again, I’ll see that purpose show itself…” That post was written on December 7, 2005. Patti, in the ensuing years, what have you learned about your desire lines?

I love these questions, Marilyn. In these six years, I have found the power of a single intention—not writing to have a successful blog, not writing to get a certain number of page views, not writing to get a book contract, but just writing. Writing what I long to say, separate from all those measures we place on ourselves. Playing with language to make it say what I most need and long to say—an extraordinary process if divorced from outcome. Living in the process (and not the outcome) of writing is one of my desire lines. And some days it is a struggle, that, because we are surrounded by people measuring things and expecting us to.

Opening space for people to say what they long to say is another. Living life on a very human scale is another—meeting people one-on-one and listening to their stories and telling mine. My desire lines are now vastly different from eleven years ago when my first business book was published. There is a vulnerability inherent in my desire lines now, a knowing, a private journey that plays out in my words. I’m getting better at stepping into my own journey and letting go of the expectations of others. There is a simplicity to knowing, and I am enjoying the spaciousness that allows.

Beyond all that, my desire lines are, ultimately, intensely personal: to be a mother to my children, a friend to other humans, an activist working for social justice, and an artist whose art shows up in the world in many different forms. I don’t want to be an expert, but a friend, a collaborator, a teller of my own truths.

Blogs:  37 Days, becoming bendy, 3x3x365

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Creative Is a Verb Retreat - April 7-10, 2011 (near Asheville, NC - limited to 16 participants)

Twitter:  @pattidigh

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