California Fever

49ers

Just a quick post to recap the last few days...

Saturday night, despite my cold (which is nearly gone, thank god) I accompanied Jeffrey to his gig at the Starlight Room atop the Sir Francis Drake Hotel in downtown San Francisco.  This is the view from the dance floor--that's Union Square.

Because he has to wear a tuxedo on that gig, I was picturing a room full of uptight, stuffy 60-somethings in cocktail dresses.  Not at all.  The dance floor was JAMMED and ages ranged from barely drinking age to seniors.  Attire ran the gamut, from floor-length dresses to jeans.  It was fun.

Sunday I never got out of my robe.

Sunday afternoon Jeffrey, via his diligent Craigslist surfing, found a couch for $75 in Rocklin (a Sacramento suburb).  We picked it up last night.  SCORE!  The owners had two identical couches and a love seat and let us take our pick.  The woman kept apologizing for a PINHOLE of a fabric hole on this one...I assured her it was quite alright.  The couch is only a year old, purchased at Costco.  It's FABULOUS!  So comfortable. It's exactly the kind of couch we would have picked out if we'd had the dough to buy a couch when we moved in.  Merry Christmas to US!  :)

Yesterday afternoon we went to the Buckhorn in Dixon to help my brother set up for an event he had last night as a fundraiser for the basketball program at Dixon High School.  (Zak is on the Freshman team.) We split for a few hours to retrieve the couch and take it home.  When we returned, things were in full swing.  My brother Marty's good friend Eric Wright and his pal Jesse Sapolu were there to lend support.  They were supposed to be the 49er "celebrity" bartenders, but they seemed to be having too good a time to do much bartending, so they left that to the regular bartenders.

This is Jesse, Jeffrey, me and Eric.

Chelle, gorgeous and sparkly as always, and her lunatic husband...also known as my brother...

Family friend Tommy served up a fabulous meal of barbecued ribs and chicken, and everyone danced to the deejay (who did a great job) all night long.  Things finally wound down about 11:30...

Here's Mandy servin' 'em up.  She's a kick in the pants...

There was a lot of sports memorabilia in the silent auction and raffle.  It's not a suprise (given what a golf nut Jeffrey is) that we ended up with a large photo of Tiger Woods, Arnold Palmer and Jack Nicklaus teeing off at the Masters.  I told him that's his birthday present.  :)

I had to include this photo just so you could see the size of one of Jesse's four Super Bowl rings.  (Eric also has four.)

And that's your BLING for the day!

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It's Tuesday--time once again for the ThirdAge Blog Carnival.  Today's host is the fabulous Jennifer Warwick at The New Charm School.  Check it out--happy reading!

rockin'

In a few weeks, I'll turn 51.  Let me be right upfront.  I don't like being 50.  I dug my 40's.  In fact, I couldn't wait to turn 40--but maybe I was just ready for the chaos of my 30's to be over.  But 50?  Don't like it.  I know, I know, we're supposed to be all enlightened...all "60 is the new 40!"  But you know what?  I have a feeling that slogan was thought up by advertisers and magazine writers who are probably in their 20's and 30's.  That's not to say that I don't think it frigging ROCKS to be a Baby Boomer.  We redefine every decade we pass through and I love that.

By owning up that I don't like being 50, I'm admitting that on some levels I've bought into the negative cultural messages attached to that age.  But who hasn't, at least deep down?  Turn 50 yourself before you start lecturing me on how and why I shouldn't do that.  It's a helluva lot easier said than done.

For last week's ThirdAge Blog Carnival I wrote a post called sexual heel-ing--about how sexy shoes (or boots) can influence one's self-image (even at the ripe old age of 50).  Will, my dear Nebraska blogger pal, left this comment:

When I first came to your [previous] blog, I made my first impressions on the little byline about yourself in the side bar--a woman of 50 on an island. My impression was that was cool that a quaint, sedentary woman who could have had a motor home in Phoenix chose the islands instead.

Well, you spent the next however long since then blowing my preconceived notions right out of the water. And I thank you for that. The 50 that is staring me in the face in my not too distant future looks so much cooler since knowing you.

"...a quaint, sedentary woman who could have had a motor home in Phoenix..." Wha...WHAT?!?! Okay, I admit that made me laugh.  The only woman in my family who's ever had a motor home in Phoenix was my MOTHER--and that was for a brief spell 25 years ago when she was younger than I am now.  There's hardly anything quaint about her NOW (at 71), let alone when she was in her mid-40's.  (Unless you consider attending airy-fairy retreats and helping a professional photographer friend groom future models quaint.) 

[SIDEBAR:  Although Mom and I do have a running gag about the scene in Albert Brooks' "Lost in America" where he and Julie Hagerty are driving through the night in their Winnebago.  He asks, "Where are we?"  She replies, "{something}, Arizona."  Albert says, "Let's live here--my legs are asleep."  Aside from the fact that it's a great comedic line, it cracks us up because the motor home court they end up in reminds us of the place where my mother had her motorhome parked during that sojourn in the Spring of 1980.]

Where was I?...  Oh yeah, 50.  So you see, as enlightened and aware as Will is (and if you don't believe me, just read his blog), even he bought into the "50 is old" myth.  It's hard not to do in this youth-obsessed culture.  It's even harder when you have a boyfriend who's only 42.  (Who knew I'd reach an age where "42" would make me sigh with longing at how YOUNG it sounds?)

I feel like I'm being shoved into my 50's kicking and screaming, whining, "I don't WANNA be 50!"  Not because I even look that age necessarily, but because of what connotations that number conjures up for people.

There are bloggers who aren't that much older than me who refer to themselves as elderbloggers.  Dude.  In my camp?  I don't plan to be "elder" until I'm like 90.  By 80 I might grudgingly own up to "senior."  Even the fact that ThirdAge is a site dedicated to readers "over 40" is a bit disturbing to me.  I read the ThirdAge blog regularly, but seldom find posts that really resonate with me. 

Am I in denial?  Am I being juvenile?  Am I unwilling to accept the responsibilities of a middle-aged person?  Maybe none, maybe all of the above.  All I know is this:  I don't feel 50 (however the hell I imagined in my youth it would feel), so I refuse to act 50.  That means I'm still gonna wear low-rider pants and short skirts and sexy boots.

Jeffrey and I have often talked about how fun it would be to chuck everything, buy a Winnebago and tour the country.  But financially I don't foresee that happening anytime in our near future.  We wouldn't be doing it because we'd feel "quaint" or "sedentary"--we'd do it as if we were going on a rock tour.  [Appropros of nothing, Jerry Seinfeld's got a great classic line that when his folks moved to Florida they started eating their meals earlier and earlier...until pretty soon they were eating breakfast the night before.]  But we do dream of a Winnebago someday.  Even if it takes us until we're in our 80's, someday we're going to travel around this great country and go wherever we want and do whatever we want.  And when we do, I hope it's not as a couple of old, slow-moving geezers--I hope we're able to do it as versions of our current selves who happen to have a few more gray hairs and wrinkles.  Maybe I'll have given up my sex-kitten shoes by then; then again, maybe not.  'Cause you know what they say:  Don't come knockin' if the Winnebago's rockin'...  :)

Carnival...Marilyn style...

Say it like Cary Grant said, "Judy, Judy, Judy!"  It's Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday!  Week 6 of the ThirdAge Blog Carnival.  This week the Carnival is hosted by Elisa at The Hip and Zen Pen.  Check it out.  (My Carnival submission appears in the post that follows this one.)

I subscribe to several email newsletters that I often go weeks without reading.  This morning I got caught up a bit and thought I'd share a few snippets from some of them.  Think of this as my own mini-Carnival...

How Much Joy's Suzanne Falter-Barns had a good slant on creative deprivation in her November 17th Joy Letter 128:  Do you really believe you can have what you want? Or do you tend to operate with your feet in two camps -- one that says, 'I'm going out there and pursue my dream' and another that says, 'I'll also hedge my bets by doing something I don't love that much, just in case the dream thing doesn't work out.'  ...  Do you want a life that's halfway, but never all the way, to the dream?  ...  The urge not to provide ourselves with what we need in life is a sort of creative anorexia, deprivation that is all about a distorted picture of who we are and what we deserve. The real irony is that seldom do the contingency plans and hedged bets work out.  "Creative anorexia" -- love that!  Let's stop starving ourselves creatively! 

This is from Debbie Ford's December 6th newsletter (if the "G word" makes you uncomfortable, substitute a word or phrase that feels more comfortable for you.):  One of my favorite requests of the divine is to ask for a sign, and I often do this through prayer rounds--praying three or four times a day to remember my ever-present and intimate connection with God.  ...  Ask for a sign that will shift your consciousness and reveal solutions to important decisions or challenging circumstances.  Things work in miraculous ways when we ask for guidance from this reservoir of creative power--a place bigger than ourselves, bigger than our own capacities alone.  Standing in this place, anything can happen and often does.

In her November 29th newsletter, Debbie shared a message someone had sent her that tickled her.  Here's a portion of it you might want to imagine happening for you in the remaining weeks of 2005:  For the remaining (months) of the year, your problems will enter call blocking, your enemies will have network problems and their bad wishes for you will enter into voicemail and you will ony get them as missed calls.

Debbie included several Goethe (1749-1832) quotes in her November 6 newsletter.  Who knew "New Age" was so old?  :)  Here are a couple:  It is my personal approach that creates the climate.  ~and~  In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person is humanized or de-humanized.

 Vicky White at Life Design Strategies is a Feng Shui consultant.  Most of us are aware of the power of photographs in our spaces, but I'd never considered something Vicky mentioned in her December 1st newsletter:   You can pick up on family dynamics in the positioning of photographs. Are the people looking away from each other?  Perhaps two of the individuals could do with having their photos if not next to each other, then closer together and perhaps looking towards each other? For family unity you could have the photos grouped around a small symbol – something that represents love and unity to you. Ideally each person is looking towards the center of this group of photos.  Arrange photos until they feel right to you.  This is an opportunity to position your family members as you would like them to be.

An urgent plea to take action to stop the slaughter in Darfur was in Marianne Williamson's November 29th newsletter:  I've asked before; I'm pleading now. Today please make the time to call your two Senators and your Congressional representative, expressing your desire for the American government to help stop the genocide in Darfur. To read more about this human slaughter and how you personally can help stop it, go to www.savedarfur.org.  She closed with this:  Dante's famous quote resonates: "There is a special place in hell reserved for those who, in times of moral crisis, remain neutral." Genociate in the Sudan is a moral crisis of the first degree. And we can stop it.  Maybe each of us can take a few moments in the midst of shopping and card writing and holiday parties to take some action.  Just a few moments of our time might save someone's LIFE.

Summer McStravick is the producer/director of programming for Hay House Radio.  (If you sign up for the Hay House Radio newsletter, you'll receive weekly updates of upcoming shows.)  Summer has developed something called Flowdreaming.  Check it out here and here.

Lastly, inspired by Jory's two new lenses, I made one, too.  The theme is inspiration.  It contains some of the posts readers here have seemed to especially like, as well as links to some of the sites where I go to find inspiration.  It's brand-new--I'll add to it as I find time.  Oh...the name of my lens?  Why, The Church of the Divine Spark, of course!  ;)

submissions for #6

Tuesday will be week #6 of the ThirdAge Blog Carnival.  If you'd like to submit a post, email the URL to Elisa at elisa@workerbees.biz by December 12.  Then look for the Carnival at Elisa's blog, The Hip and Zen Pen, on Tuesday, the 13th.

Reminder:  ThirdAge is a site geared towards readers over 40.  Typical topics include work, health, sex, relationships, marriage, personal finance, money, career transition, humor, baby boomer, culture, society, aging, caregiving...in other words, LIFE!  :)

ThirdAge Blog Carnival - week 5

I'm very pleased to be hosting week 5 of the ThirdAge Blog Carnival.  We have lots of great reading for you in this edition--enjoy!

Jory Des Jardins leads off this week's Carnival with On Breakthroughs, an insightful deconstruction of those sometimes elusive breakthrough moments:  "I've learned which bursts of brilliance deserve a follow-up conversation, and which ones stem from bouts of insecurity or dissatisfaction with my current situation."  Jory shares not only how she gets to those moments, but how not to squander them. 

At The New Charm School, one of my favorite new-to-me sites, Jennifer Warwick writes, "My idea of a good time is sitting on the couch with a long book for hours on end, with no music, no traffic, and no one else around." Now there's a woman after my own heart! In Networking:  The Introvert's Survival Guide she provides valuable tips we introverts can use next time we feel ourselves cringing and shrinking at a networking event. 

"Peter Drucker is a long time hero of mine, an inspiration to the work I am doing.  His great question, what do you want to contribute, is one we can all ponder."  Jill Fallon is a regular contributor to the ThirdAge blog.  In Managing Ourselves she reminds us of what Peter Drucker saw as our most valuable contribution.

Nearly everyone I know has experienced at least one holiday season where they've felt at least a little down.  Lucy MacDonald at Positive Perspectives offers concrete tips on dealing with those down times in Dealing with Loneliness During the Holidays.

Most of us will deal with issues related to our aging parents, if we're lucky enough to have our parents live to an elderly age.  Jacqueline Marcell, another ThirdAge blog contributor, provides some valuable information on elder care and the diagnosis of Alzheimer's in Elder Care & Elder Rage:  If I Only Knew Then What I Know Now!  Jacqueline shares her experience with her father in this moving post.

Barbara at Trying to Catch Up recently experienced the sudden death of her father.  She shares some insights she's had in the ensuing weeks.  Read Things I've Learned.

Moving to the physical, at HealthyConcerns.com Elisa Camahort offers Do You Want These Under Your Skin?, a look at the latest popular outpatient face-lift procedure, why it sounds particularly nasty, and a little message from Andrew Weil to help us all take a deep breath over our own aging.

Elisa also has a post at The Hip and Zen Pen about research done on the different ways women and men express anger.  (I'll bet women readers can guess what one of the main ones is.)  Here's a Fascinating Post on Women and Anger.

Finding it hard to not stuff yourself this holiday season?  Check out Pecan Pie and Ice Cream Helped Round Out the Bubble Butt by ThirdAge blog contributor, Susan Mitchell.

Think you might be suffering from adultitis?  Maria at Believe Street offers up a self-diagnosis in her delightful post, (quiet on the set, please!)  Adulthood:  Take Two!  Here's a sample:  "...have you noticed how much life-administration stuff one has to deal with as an adult?  Was this all spelled out in the fine print somewhere in our 'Welcome to Adulthood' manual?"

I met Pam at Nerd's Eye View when I lived in the islands.  If anyone understands how one can be torn about living in the mainland U.S. versus somewhere else, it's Pam.  But Pam's story is even more complicated, because she didn't move away for awhile and then move back; she lives half the year in Seattle and the other half in Austria.  She eloquently spells out just how complicated her life can feel in Choose Your Own Adventure:  America vs. Austria.

Blogging methods, inspirations and techniques are as unique as bloggers.  Steve Sherlock gives us his methods in How Do I Blog? at Steve's Two Cents.

Rebekah takes us back to the moment she had a magical encounter with a wizard in Essence from Rebekah's Musings.

My submission for this week's Carnival, Joy, appears just below this post.

I'm going to close the Carnival with a post by Jim Sullivan at Suldog-o-Rama.  Jim's grandmother recently turned 100 and he has written a loving tribute to her.  She sounds like a truly remarkable woman, "...in her nineties my Grandma was going around and entertaining nursing home patients."  In commemorating his Grandma's 100 years, Jim transports us back to what life was like in 1905, "There were no such things as commercial airplanes in the air overhead. The Wright Brothers had flown at Kitty Hawk only two years previously. So, you drove everywhere, right? Yeah, if you had a horse. There were approximately 8,000 cars in the US, and only 144 miles of paved roads."  Read 100 Years Old Today...and get ready to be inspired.

You can check out the Carnival schedule here. On Tuesday, December 13, the Carnival travels to The Hip and Zen Pen.  Send your links by December 12 to elisa@workerbees.biz.

submissions

I'll be hosting the ThirdAge Blog Carnival tomorrow (Tuesday).  ThirdAge is a site directed at readers over 40 and the issues that affect those of us in that demographic.  Here are the categories that most carnival submissions fall into:  work, health, sex, relationships, marriage, personal finance, money, career transition, humor, baby boomer, culture, society, aging, caregiving.  I'd add personal growth and development, since some submissions (including mine) fall into that category. 

The Carnival is open to anyone who'd like to participate.  If you have a post you'd like to have included in tomorrow's Carnival, please send the post URL TODAY by 5 pm Pacific to blogfever@yahoo.com.

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And on a completely separate note, if you haven't signed my Frappr map, I'd love it if you would.  The link's on the left sidebar.

ThirdAge Blog Carnival - week 4

It's Tuesday, so you know what that means--time for the ThirdAge Blog Carnival.  This week's Carnival is hosted by Troy Worman at OrbitNow!  Most of you will have already read my submission (a post from last month), but there's lots of great reading there.  Enjoy!

It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters in the end.  ~Ursula K. LeGuin

ThirdAge Blog Carnival - week 3

It's Tuesday, so that means it's time for ThirdAge.com's Blog Carnival.  This is week 3, and this week it's hosted by none other than the editor of the ThirdAge blog, Jory Des Jardins.  This is particularly poignant, since Jory's father, Joel--husband of Joy at The Joy of Six--passed away suddenly last week.  Jory wrote a beautiful tribute to her Dad...and it leads off this week's Carnival.  Please take a moment to stop by Joy's blog, too, to read her moving memories of Joel's final days.

ThirdAge Blog Carnival - Week 1

It's Carnival day at ThirdAge.  Scroll down to the November 8 post with the Carnival title...and enjoy some new reads!

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I voted today...did you?